Tech Billionaire Regrets Late Afternoon Infusion of Child's Blood
By
The Onion Staff
Hard to chew. Probably not worth the jaw work.
Summary
Tech billionaire Jasper Stroud regrets his decision to receive an infusion of child's blood late in the afternoon, acknowledging it disrupted his sleep and heightened his heart rate. He reflects on the foolishness of his choice, wishing he had opted for a nap instead.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI should’ve just taken a nap instead of popping open my blood boy fridge and getting a quick hit.
Even a couple drops is a lot—what the hell was I thinking taking a whole liter of this stuff?
I’m going t
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