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The Onion's Satirical Q&A On Cyclosporiasis Cases

Cases of cyclosporiasis, a parasitic infection that can cause “explosive diarrhea,” have been reported in at least 34 states. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the illness. Q: Who is most at risk? A: Children, the elderly, and poor fucker

entertainmenthealth

The Onion·4h ago·1 min read

Satirical Article Depicts Public Begging Mitch McConnell to Stop Releasing Photos

politicsentertainment

The Onion4h ago

Madonna Accused Of Pandering With New Song About Trying To Find Available Spot In Fire Island Share House

Newsentertainmenttravel

The Onion6h ago

Insisting Coworker Get To Point Somehow Slows Him Down

Newslocalrelationships

The Onion6h ago

Satirical piece compares riot police to excited children before a ballet recital

LOS ANGELES—Bunching together with nervous energy and dolled up in matching gear, a group of riot police crouched excitedly behind an armored vehicle like 3-year-olds about to begin a ballet recital, witnesses confirmed Thursday. Several reports indicated

entertainmentnews

The Onion·6h ago·1 min read

Rubio Vows To Dismantle International Criminal Court

News

The Onion1d ago

Satirical article: Matt Damon jokingly defends Dunkin' Donuts product placement in Nolan's 'The Odyssey'

entertainmentfood

The Onion1d ago

Bus Passenger Hopes Coughing Rider Has Throat Cancer Rather Than Common Cold

entertainmentsatire

The Onion1d ago

Satirical Onion Article: White House Hovering and Falling in Sync with Melania Trump's Snoring

Become a Member. Get the Paper.

politicsnews

The Onion·1d ago·7 min read

Satirical article claims Gen Z telepaths can't focus long enough to read minds

educationentertainment

The Onion1d ago

Satirical piece depicts Barack Obama pretending to be Canadian while traveling in France

politicshumor

The Onion1d ago

Last-Ever Global Warming Report Released For Posterity

News

The Onion1d ago

Lindsey Graham’s Sister To Serve Remainder Of Term

Darline Graham Nordone, the sister of late Senator Lindsey Graham, has been tapped to serve the remainder of his term that ends in January, despite no prior political experience. What do you think?

Newsgovernmentfamilycongress

The Onion·2d ago·4 min read

Satire: FBI Director Kash Patel Asks Public for Help Using His Computer

WASHINGTON—Urging anyone with knowledge of the electronic device to come forward, FBI Director Kash Patel issued a statement Tuesday asking for the public’s help using the computer. “If any Americans have information related to the operation of a Lenovo l

technologypolitics

The Onion·2d ago·2 min read

Satirical piece: Geologist 'reunited' with rock studied 20 years ago

scienceentertainment

The Onion2d ago

The Onion

The Onion's Satirical Q&A On Cyclosporiasis Cases

Satirical Article Depicts Public Begging Mitch McConnell to Stop Releasing Photos

Madonna Accused Of Pandering With New Song About Trying To Find Available Spot In Fire Island Share House

Insisting Coworker Get To Point Somehow Slows Him Down

Satirical piece compares riot police to excited children before a ballet recital

Rubio Vows To Dismantle International Criminal Court

Satirical article: Matt Damon jokingly defends Dunkin' Donuts product placement in Nolan's 'The Odyssey'

Bus Passenger Hopes Coughing Rider Has Throat Cancer Rather Than Common Cold

Satirical Onion Article: White House Hovering and Falling in Sync with Melania Trump's Snoring

Satirical article claims Gen Z telepaths can't focus long enough to read minds

Satirical piece depicts Barack Obama pretending to be Canadian while traveling in France

Last-Ever Global Warming Report Released For Posterity

Lindsey Graham’s Sister To Serve Remainder Of Term

Sara Lee Farm CEO Uploads Consciousness Into Loaf Of Bread

Tim Wallace

All Things Musk Pass

Satire: FBI Director Kash Patel Asks Public for Help Using His Computer

Satirical piece: Geologist 'reunited' with rock studied 20 years ago