Satirical Guide to Home Canning During Economic Hardship
By
The Onion Staff
A reheated bagel, served cold.
Summary
The article is a satirical piece from The Onion that parodies home canning advice during economic hardship. It presents absurd 'tips' including entering an economic recession, introducing bacteria to your diet, calling everyone 'Maw and Paw,' asking children about nuclear winter food preferences, and puréeing pizza before canning. The content mocks survivalist and prepper culture while humorously addressing food preservation concerns during financial strain.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledEnter an economic recession.
Slowly introduce bacteria to other parts of your diet first.
Start calling everyone Maw and Paw.
Ask the kids what they want to eat for 20 years of nuclear winter.
Make sure to purée the meat lover’s pizza before canning
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