Satirical piece depicts elderly man using rocking motion to stand up from recliner
By
The Onion Staff
Day-old at best. Try it dunked in something stronger.
Summary
A satirical news article from The Onion-style publication describes 73-year-old Robert Palacios of Henderson, NV, who uses a rocking motion and his belly as a counterweight to build momentum and sit up from his recliner. The piece humorously details his struggle, including red-faced effort and involuntary grunting noises.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledthe 73-year-old used the mass of his large belly like a pendulum's counterweight as he oscillated to and fro
building up the speed necessary to free himself from the recliner
whose face grew red as he accelerated, produced rhythmic, involuntary guttural noises each time he lurched upward and fell back down into the seat
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