Satirical Article: Oklahoma Mom Claims 'Serial Killer Diet' Helps Her Lose Weight
By
The Onion Staff
Even the toaster can't save this one.
Summary
A satirical article about a local mom in Lawton, Oklahoma who claims to be following a 'serial killer diet' that involves focusing on violent urges instead of eating. The piece humorously describes disturbing items appearing in her kitchen and her weight loss goals being inspired by notorious serial killers.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"I've already lost four pounds just by focusing on my inner animalistic urge to kill instead of stuffing my face with empty calories"
"My sister heard about it online, and when I saw how gaunt her face looked, I had to give it a try"
"Disturbed by the sudden appearance of duct tape, rope, and plastic sheeting in the kitchen"
You might also wanna read
The Onion's Satirical Take on Non-Grass Lawn Alternatives
A satirical article from The Onion listing absurd and humorous pros and cons of replacing traditional grass lawns with alternative landscapi
The Onion·9d ago
Satirical piece depicts elderly man using rocking motion to stand up from recliner
A satirical news article from The Onion-style publication describes 73-year-old Robert Palacios of Henderson, NV, who uses a rocking motion
The Onion·13d ago
Satirical Haircut Advice: Absurd Tips for Better Salon Results
The article presents satirical advice for getting better haircuts, including absurd recommendations like being specific about which Zootopia
The Onion·1mo ago
Satirical Article on RV Ownership as Disaster Escape Strategy
The article appears to be a satirical piece from The Onion, America's Finest News Source, set in a fictional future date of April 8, 2026. I
The Onion·2mo ago
Satirical Article About Home With Exceptionally Attractive Mail Carrier
The article appears to be a satirical piece from The Onion about an otherwise ordinary home that receives mail delivery from an exceptionall
The Onion·4mo ago
Satirical Guide to Antique Shopping: Humorous Tips for Collectors
The article presents satirical advice for antique shopping, offering humorous and exaggerated tips such as arriving in a large vehicle to tr
The Onion·6mo ago