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The Onion Satirizes Patriotism With Man Pretending Washington Monument Is His Penis

By

The Onion Staff

1d ago· 7 min readen

Summary

A satirical article from The Onion about a man who becomes emotionally overwhelmed while pretending the Washington Monument is his penis during a Fourth of July celebration in Washington, D.C. The piece humorously explores themes of patriotism, masculinity, and national pride through absurdist comedy.

Source

The OnionThe Onion Satirizes Patriotism With Man Pretending Washington Monument Is His Penistheonion.com

Key quotes

· 3 pulled
'It's just... it's just so big,' said Whitford, his voice cracking with emotion as he gestured toward the towering 555-foot obelisk.
'I've never felt more like a man, more like an American, than I do right now,' he told reporters, visibly struggling to compose himself.
'This is what freedom looks like, guys. This is what our forefathers died for.'
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