CDC Jokingly Recommends Apples Over Unprotected Sex for Safety
By
The Onion Staff
More crust than filling. Mostly air.
Summary
The CDC humorously suggests eating a shiny apple as a safer alternative to unprotected sex, highlighting the risks of irresponsible sexual behavior compared to the harmless act of enjoying fruit.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledWhat we are finding is that the risks associated with irresponsible sexual acts far exceed those of chomping on this delicious fruit.
It took the same amount of effort to chew and savor a ripe Honeycrisp apple as it did to remove a condom and 'raw-dog' a lover to completion.
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