Trump Announces Self-Appointment as 10th Divine Muse
By
The Onion Staff
Lightly browned and well buttered. A solid pick from the rack.
Summary
President Donald Trump announces he has appointed himself as the 10th divine muse, claiming the nine existing muses have become 'beholden to DEI and woke ideology.' He states he will ascend Mount Helicon to ensure literature, science, and music continue to serve the American people, embodying pastoral poetry and late-night posting sprees.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledMany are saying these nine inspirational goddesses have become beholden to DEI and woke ideology, so I'm ascending Mount Helicon as a muse to make sure literature, science, and music continue to serve the American people
I'm ascending Mount Helicon as a muse to make sure literature, science, and music continue to serve the American people
he would embody the practices of pastoral poetry and late-night posting sprees
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