Satirical Study Claims Processed Meats Are Carcinogenic But Were On Sale
By
The Onion Staff
Crusty in the right places. Worth the chew.
Summary
A satirical article reports on a fictional study claiming that processed meats like salami, bacon, and corned beef are carcinogenic but were on sale at irresistible prices. The study humorously suggests that cancer researchers couldn't resist the deals despite knowing the cancer risks associated with nitrites and chemical preservatives in processed meats.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledOur evidence indicates that while common deli items like salami, bacon, and corned beef have strong links to cancer, they were simply being offered at prices too good to pass up
Suggesting there were some deals even cancer researchers couldn't say no to
avoiding products that contain nitrites and other chemical preservatives decreased the risk
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