Satirical Article: McCormick Announces Fictional Transdermal Gravy Patch
By
The Onion Staff
Crusty in the right places. Worth the chew.
Summary
A satirical article about McCormick & Co. introducing a fictional "transdermal gravy patch" designed to help people wean themselves off gravy addiction. The piece humorously mimics press releases for nicotine patches, treating gravy consumption as a substance dependency with withdrawal symptoms.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledAt McCormick, we know well the frustrations and difficult side effects that come with abrupt attempts to quit gravy, so we've created these unobtrusive, easy-to-apply patches to help you avoid withdrawal symptoms while slowly weaning your body off of thick, flavorful sauces.
Hailing the product as a life-changing alternative for those in need of controlled withdrawal solutions, officials at packaged food giant McCormick & Co. introduced a first-of-its-kind smooth and hearty transdermal gravy patch Tuesday.
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