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Illinois Passes Satirical Legislation for Paid Haircut Leave During Bob Grow-Out Period

By

The Onion Staff

1mo ago· 5 min readen

Summary

Illinois has passed landmark legislation becoming the first state to mandate paid haircut leave for employees while their new bob haircuts grow out. The bipartisan law requires employers to provide two weeks of compensated time off for workers who get chin-length blunt haircuts and need time for them to grow to a more manageable length. The article appears to be satirical, presenting this as actual legislation with humorous implications about workplace policies and personal grooming decisions.

Key quotes

· 4 pulled
Illinois became the first state in the union to mandate paid haircut leave while an employee's new bob grows out.
Effective immediately, every employer in Illinois will be required to provide two weeks of compensated time off for workers who thought a blunt, chin-length haircut might...
The landmark bipartisan legislation passed into law Thursday
Illinois Becomes First State To Require Haircut Leave While Bob Grows Out
Snippet from the RSS feed
SPRINGFIELD, IL—As the landmark bipartisan legislation passed into law Thursday, Illinois became the first state in the union to mandate paid haircut leave while an employee’s new bob grows out. “Effective immediately, every employer in Illinois will be r

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