Satirical Article Claims Europeans Remain Devoted to Michael Jackson Despite Scandals
By
The Onion Staff
Warm and crisp on the edges. A bagel with a bit of bite.
Summary
A satirical article from The Onion-style publication announcing that the 743.5 million residents of Europe have collectively declared their unwavering love for Michael Jackson, regardless of any scandals or accusations against him. The piece humorously portrays European devotion to the pop star as an unshakeable cultural commitment.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledYou may try to break down our resolve with accusations that he engaged in inappropriate sexual behaviors, but our love of Michael Jackson, Le Roi de la Pop, remains unwavering.
Steadfast in their devotion to the treasured cultural keystone of their community, the roughly 743.5 million residents of Europe gathered Friday to announce that there's nothing anyone can do to make them stop loving Michael Jackson.
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