Turning Point USA Announces Creation of Alternative Puerto Rico Called "Port Rick"
By
The Onion Staff
A weekday bagel. Dependable, satisfying, no fuss.
Summary
Conservative advocacy group Turning Point USA announced it is creating an alternative Puerto Rico called "Port Rick," which they describe as a family-friendly tropical paradise celebrating traditional values. The announcement positions this as a more wholesome and patriotic substitute for the current U.S. territory, with an English-only mandate reflected in the name "Port Rick," which is a mistranslation of Puerto Rico.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledFinally, Americans will be able to enjoy a family-friendly tropical paradise that actually celebrates traditional values
the island would be known as 'Port Rick,' a mistranslation of 'Puerto Rico' that nevertheless reflected the new territory's English-only mandate
Hailing the move as a more wholesome and patriotic substitute for the current U.S. territory
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