Trump Claims He Cannot Remember Every Birthday Card Sent to Child Molesters
By
The Onion Staff
More flour than flavour. There's a bagel in here, just not much of one.
Summary
President Donald Trump claims he cannot be expected to remember every birthday card he sends to child molesters, stating he sends dozens of such cards monthly to thank pedophiles for birthday parties and private jet flights, arguing it's unrealistic to recall each individual correspondence.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"Every month I'm probably sending off a dozen or so of these cards thanking pedophiles for a good time at their birthday parties or for the flight on their private jet"
"it's ridiculous to think I'm going to recall each tiny thing I write"
"I shouldn't be expected to remember every single birthday card I have sent to child molesters"
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