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Satirical Study Claims Americans Choosing Carnival Over College

By

The Onion Staff

11d ago· 4 min readen

Summary

A satirical article from The Onion reports on a fictional University of Missouri study claiming that more young Americans are skipping college to let "the carnival sort them out." The piece uses absurd humor to mock both higher education anxieties and carnival culture, presented as a faux-scientific news report.

Source

The OnionSatirical Study Claims Americans Choosing Carnival Over Collegetheonion.com

Key quotes

· 3 pulled
'In a dire job market like this, it doesn't make sense to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a degree when you can just let the carnival sort you out,' said lead researcher Dr. Kevin Miller.
'The carnival doesn't care about your GPA or your extracurriculars. It just wants to know if you can guess which cup the ball is under,' Miller added.
'I was going to go to community college, but then I saw the carny with the mallet and the stuffed animals, and I thought, 'That guy has his life together,' said one study participant.
Snippet from the RSS feed
COLUMBIA, MO—Surveying a wide cross section of Americans aged 18 to 24, a new study published Tuesday by researchers at the University of Missouri found that more Americans were foregoing college in favor of letting the carnival sort them out. “In a dire

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