Satirical Timeline of U.S. Interventions in Latin America
By
The Onion Staff
Hard crust, hollow middle. Skim only.
Summary
The article presents a satirical timeline of U.S. interventions in Latin America, mocking historical American involvement in the region through humorous fictional events. It begins with ancient times ("500 B.C. - So far so good"), then jumps to 1899 with United Fruit Company's "noble quest to spread healthy eating," followed by CIA team-building in Ecuador (1960), failed attempts to assassinate Fidel Castro with exploding cigars (1963), and references to Ronald Reagan's era (1983). The piece uses absurd humor to critique the long history of U.S. interference in Latin American affairs.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledThe United Fruit Company begins its noble quest to spread the love of healthy eating throughout Latin America.
The CIA does a team-building off-site in Ecuador.
The U.S. tries to assassinate Fidel Castro by sending him a box of exploding cigars, following unsuccessful attempts using a snake in a can and shocking gum.
So far so good.
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