Satirical Article: Office Creates Weight Room for Lactating Mothers to 'Pump Iron'
By
The Onion Staff
More flour than flavour. There's a bagel in here, just not much of one.
Summary
A Tucson insurance company has created a dedicated space for lactating mothers to 'pump iron' at work, with the article humorously playing on the double meaning of 'pumping' (both breast pumping and weightlifting). The piece describes how employees no longer need to use bathroom stalls or utility closets for their 'gains,' presenting a satirical take on workplace accommodations.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"It's essential that employers provide a private, functional weight room where new mothers can comfortably pump iron at work when the need to make gains arises"
"It felt d" (incomplete quote suggesting the satirical nature)
In a move that has earned praise from women's rights advocates, local business Leiderman Insurance reportedly unveiled a dedicated space Friday for lactating mothers to discreetly pump iron in the office
You might also wanna read
Satirical article: Spirit Airlines CEO claims nickel find will fund operations
A satirical article about Spirit Airlines supposedly resuming business operations after its CEO found a nickel on the ground, mocking the ai
Satirical Report: Man Claims Work Promotion Caused Him to Neglect Alcohol Consumption
A satirical article about a man named Andrew Tesser who claims his increased work commitments and career promotion have caused him to neglec
Job Applicant Rejected for 'Pig Boy' Position with Sarcastic Email
A job applicant named Mark McCarthy receives a rejection email for the position of 'pig boy,' with the company sarcastically acknowledging h
Marketing Analyst Laid Off for Performance Issues Warns About AI Job Replacement
A marketing analyst in Sioux City, Iowa, who was recently laid off for performance issues including frequent unexcused absences and missed d
Collection of Humorous and Impractical Business Ideas for Entertainment
A humorous collection of intentionally terrible business ideas and startup concepts presented as entertainment, with the explicit warning th
Raid Introduces Satirical Bug Doxxing Kit for Modern Pest Control
Raid insecticide brand has introduced a satirical 'bug doxxing kit' that supposedly reveals the exact locations of termite mounds and ant co
