Satirical Article: God Expresses Confusion Over Gorilla Population Decline
By
The Onion Staff
Leave it on the tray for the seagulls.
Summary
A satirical piece where God expresses confusion about the critically low population of eastern lowland gorillas, believing He had created many more of them. The article humorously portrays God counting gorillas from a cloud and questioning where they all went, highlighting the endangered status of these primates through divine bewilderment.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledGod, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, announced Monday that He could have sworn He put more gorillas down there.
"How are there fewer than 6,000 of the eastern lowland ones left when I swear I made Earth, like, half gorillas?"
"Where the hell did they all go? Did I put some in South America by mistake? This is so weird—I thought I created b"
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