Satirical Report: EPA Mockingly Threatens Monarch Butterflies with Environmental Protection Rollbacks
By
The Onion Staff
6mo ago· 3 min readen
65/100
Toasty
Bagelometer↗
Right out the toaster. Reliable, with some real depth.
Score65TypesatireSentimentvery negative
Summary
The article satirically reports that the Environmental Protection Agency issued a public statement warning monarch butterflies to 'count your fucking days' while announcing plans to roll back dozens of environmental protections for the vulnerable insect population. The EPA officials are portrayed as taking particular joy in dismantling rules that safeguard monarch habitats, using aggressive and profane language against the butterflies.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledEPA issued a public statement Friday warning monarch butterflies to 'count your fucking days'
EPA officials confirmed plans to roll back dozens of environmental protections for the vulnerable insect population
vowing to introduce new standards for decimating monarch habitats
saying they would take particular joy in dismantling rules that safeguard those 'smug, spotted fucks'
Savor that nectar now, you sniveling moth pricks, because under this administration
WASHINGTON—Amid a series of sudden actions overhauling landmark federal conservation regulations, the Environmental Protection Agency issued a public statement Friday warning monarch butterflies to “count your fucking days.” EPA officials confirmed plans
