Satirical Account of Defense Secretary Allegedly Walking Nude in Press-Free Pentagon
By
The Onion Staff
Hard to chew. Probably not worth the jaw work.
Summary
A satirical article describing Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth walking fully nude through the Pentagon corridors while encouraging subordinates to disrobe with him, taking advantage of the newly press-free environment. The piece portrays him as cheerfully strolling while classic rock music blasts from his office.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"Come on, everybody, don't be shy!"
"Forget all my grumbling about fat generals and admirals in the halls of the Pentagon—it's time to cut loose!"
"Those stick-in-the-mud reporters can't stop us now."
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