The Onion Asks NBA Players What Absurd Rule Changes They'd Make As Commissioner
By
The Onion Staff
Summary
A satirical article from The Onion where NBA players humorously suggest absurd rule changes they would make if they were commissioner for a day. Kawhi Leonard proposes a secret hidden basket worth 11 points, and Pascal Siakam suggests every game is a best-of-seven series played simultaneously. The piece uses deadpan humor to parody sports reform discussions.
Source
The OnionThe Onion Asks NBA Players What Absurd Rule Changes They'd Make As Commissionertheonion.comKey quotes
· 2 pulledI would introduce one secret basket. Nobody knows where it is. Maybe it's under the scorer's table. Maybe it's in the tunnel. Maybe a fan is holding it. If you find it and score, your team gets 11 points. This would encourage exploration.
Every game is seven games. Much more efficient this way.
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