Man Discovers He Only Loved the Idea of Fried Egg on Burger, Not the Reality
By
The Onion Staff
Looks the part, but the middle's still raw. Chew with caution.
Summary
A man from Knoxville, Tennessee named Vince Salazar has a disappointing lunch experience that makes him realize he only loved the idealized concept of a fried egg on a hamburger, not the actual reality. He had romanticized the idea of a sunny-side up egg with ooey-gooey yolk pouring over his beef patty and soaking into the bun, but the actual experience didn't live up to his expectations, leading to an emotional realization about his misplaced culinary affections.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI thought the sunny-side up burger upgrade was what I really wanted, but I've come to see that I fell for a glamorized flavor profile that was never going to make me happy
I had fetishized what it would be like to have an ooey-gooey yolk poured over my beef patty and allowed to soak into my bun, never truly appreciating what
After a disappointing lunch that shattered his romanticized view of the topping, heartbroken local man Vince Salazar stated Monday that he now understood he had only ever loved the idea of a fried egg on a hamburger
You might also wanna read
Satirical piece mocks poor quality of frozen blackberries as Americans ironically demand more flavorless fruit
A satirical article from The Onion-style publication about Americans ironically begging frozen fruit companies to continue producing giant,
The Onion·10d ago
Satirical Article: Wells Fargo Experts Joke About Investing Tax Refunds in Dream Sandwiches
A satirical article from Wells Fargo "experts" humorously advising taxpayers to invest their tax refunds not in traditional savings or retir
The Onion·13d ago
Finding Community and Grief at Costco: A Personal Essay on Retail as Ritual
A personal essay exploring the author's resistance to and eventual embrace of Costco, framing the warehouse store as a place of community, r
tastecooking.com·24d ago
Satirical Piece Claims Exploiting Others Is Key to Financial Success
The article presents a satirical or ironic take on personal finance, claiming that the key to financial success is taking advantage of other
The Onion·26d ago
A Reluctant Food Columnist's Rant About Upselling Tactics
The author discusses being asked to write a regular food column at Defector but declining, partly because they are an easily pleased eater.
Defector·1mo ago
Satirical Article: McCormick Announces Fictional Transdermal Gravy Patch
A satirical article about McCormick & Co. introducing a fictional "transdermal gravy patch" designed to help people wean themselves off grav
The Onion·1mo ago