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Jean Discovers Her Computer Shows a Date Five Years in the Future

The Onion Staff

8mo ago· 5 min readenNews

65/100

Toasty

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Plain bagel done well. Pleasantly substantive.

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Summary

The article describes a personal narrative where the protagonist, Jean, wakes up to discover that her computer displays the date as June 17, 2025, suggesting that more than five years have passed since she last remembered. The story captures her shock and disbelief as she processes this sudden time jump, blending everyday morning routines with a surreal twist.

Key quotes

· 3 pulled

The monitor read Tuesday, June 17, 2025.

My heart nearly sprang up my throat and plopped onto the keyboard!

Was my computer telling me that MORE THAN FIVE WHOLE YEARS had passed since I officially declared...

Snippet from the RSS feed

So one bright morning around nine, sunlight streaming through her mini-blinds, your ol’ pal Jean rolled out of bed (literally!), slurped a mug of piping hot cocoa, and chowed down on the last of the two-day-old day-old cinnamon rolls, took a nice hot show

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