Freshman Congressman's Amateur Corruption Attempts Viewed as 'Adorable' by Colleagues
By
The Onion Staff
A reheated bagel, served cold.
Summary
A satirical article describing freshman Congressman Gabe Evans from Colorado being observed by fellow representatives as he attempts to discreetly engage in corrupt activities, with colleagues finding his amateurish approach to corruption 'adorable' and childlike.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"Aw, look, look! He's going into the parking garage, trying to look all sneaky—what a sweetie pie," said Florida Rep. Brian Mast
"Marveling at the childlike innocence and naïveté on display from their first-term colleague"
"freshman congressman Gabe Evans of Colorado was being adorably discreet with his corruption"
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