Father Has Child Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Before Reckless Drive to Ice Cream Shop
By
The Onion Staff
Crispy enough to crunch, soft enough to enjoy. A good bake.
Summary
A Milwaukee father, Rick Cerney, reportedly had his 5-year-old son blow into his car's Breathalyzer device, then rewarded the child with a dangerous trip to an ice cream shop. The father used his knees to steer while opening another beer, had the child hold the wheel, and drove recklessly while telling the child to put on a seatbelt to avoid getting pulled over.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledAfter instructing his 5-year-old son to imagine a bunch of birthday candles at the other end of the tube, local dad Rick Cerney, 41, reportedly rewarded the child's blow into his car Breathalyzer Monday with a dicey trip to an ice cream shop.
Great job, buddy—just like a balloon, right?
Cerney said as he used his knees to steer onto a busy road so he would have both hands free to crack open his next beer.
Here, hold the wheel for a second while I find my koozie.
Whoa, that guy came out of nowhere, huh? Hey, put your seatbelt on—I can't risk getting pulled o
You might also wanna read
Woman killed, another injured in shooting near Watts vigil early Sunday
A shooting near a Watts street corner where a candlelight vigil was reportedly taking place early Sunday left a 30-year-old woman dead and a
latimes.com·9h ago
UCLA serial assault suspect arrested; police recover zip ties and duct tape
A 29-year-old homeless man, Olumuyiwa Akindahunsi, was arrested for allegedly attacking multiple female UCLA students overnight, attempting
latimes.com·1d ago
French cities deploy drones, thermal cameras, and patrols to combat increasingly early summer megafires
Article describes how French cities and fire departments are increasingly using new technologies (drones, thermal cameras) and traditional m
l.leparisien.fr·3d ago
OAAA Renews FBI Partnership to Expand Digital Billboard Network for Public Safety
The Out of Home Advertising Association of America (OAAA) has renewed its partnership with the FBI, extending the Digital Billboard Initiati
ethicalmarketingnews.com·3d ago
Satirical Headlines Collection Masquerading as News About Starbucks Korea Apology
This article appears to be a satirical/humor piece from what reads like a collection of absurd headlines (e.g., "Mass Grave Not Even That Bi
The Onion·3d ago
The Onion Satirizes Government Overreach With Fictional DOJ Investigation Into All Women
A satirical article from The Onion reporting that the U.S. Department of Justice has launched a criminal investigation into all women. The p
The Onion·3d ago