Denny's Announces Satirical Promotion: Free Pancakes for Customers Who Take Fights Outside
By
The Onion Staff
Hand-rolled, kettle-boiled, baked to perfection. Worth every minute at the bakery.
Summary
Denny's diner chain announced a satirical promotion offering free pancakes to customers who take their fights outside the restaurant and into the parking lot. The announcement humorously acknowledges that customers enjoy participating in violent late-night brawls at their locations, and the free short stack of pancakes serves as a thank-you for moving the physical altercations outdoors.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"We know our customers love coming to Denny's to participate in violent late-night brawls"
"free pancakes would be provided to customers who take their fighting outside"
"treated to a complimentary short stack as a thank-you for moving the bloodshed out of the restaurant and into the parking lot"
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