Defense Secretary Contemplates Using Uranium as a Mixer for Drinks
By
The Onion Staff
Tired, dry, slightly forgotten on the back of the tray.
Summary
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth contemplates using uranium as a mixer for drinks, imagining it enhancing the chemical notes of gin despite its density.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI feel like it could bring out the more chemical notes of gin in a really nice way without overpowering it.
I hate when a drink separates, and the mixer just sits on the bottom, and then you get a big glob of it
I feel like it could bring out the more chemical notes of gin in a really nice way without overpowering it.
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