Satirical Report: Fictional Mass Grave of Trump Advisors Discovered at White House
By
The Onion Staff
Lightly browned and well buttered. A solid pick from the rack.
Summary
A satirical article reporting the fictional discovery of a mass grave containing over 150 former Trump advisors on the White House grounds, discovered by a groundskeeper who noticed a lifeless arm protruding from the soil near the North Lawn's fountain.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledAuthorities in the nation's capital reportedly unearthed the bodies of more than 150 former Trump advisors Thursday after a worker stumbled upon what appeared to be a mass grave on the grounds of the White House.
Investigators were called to the scene after a groundskeeper performing routine landscaping around the North Lawn's fountain noticed a lifeless arm protruding from a recently overturned patch of soil.
Further excavation revealed a 100-foot-long grave stretching nearly to the Executive Residence and containing what experts concluded was almost a decade's worth of decayed
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