Woods Hole Biologists Declare Clams Have No Scientific Value
By
The Onion Staff
Half-baked but well-meaning. A passing snack.
Summary
Biologists at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution have announced that there is absolutely nothing to be learned from clams, stating that while some clam shells may look interesting, the bivalve mollusks have no educational or scientific value whatsoever.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"Our studies have found that while some of their shells look pretty cool, clams really don't have anything to teach us"
"there was absolutely nothing to be learned from clams"
"it wasn't simply the case that researchers had already learned everything they could from clams, but rather that there had never been anything to learn from them"
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