Virgo Horoscope: Playful Suggestion to Call Ancient Stars More Often
By
The Onion Staff
There's a fresh bagel in here somewhere. We couldn't find it.
Summary
A humorous Virgo horoscope suggesting that since stars are ancient, Virgos should call them more often, playing on the idea of celestial bodies as distant relatives needing attention.
Key quotes
· 2 pulledThe stars are a trillion years old and are only getting older
so it would be nice if you called them more often
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