Capricorn Horoscope: Stars' Unfulfilled Barber Aspirations
By
The Onion Staff
Tired, dry, slightly forgotten on the back of the tray.
Summary
The article appears to be a very short, possibly satirical or humorous piece that starts with a title about a referee hesitating to make a 'good' sign, but the actual content is a brief astrological horoscope for Capricorn (December 22 to January 19) with a whimsical statement about the stars wanting to be a barber instead of their current role.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledThe stars didn't ask for this, you know.
They wanted to be a barber.
Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)
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