Trump Claims Democrats Secretly Paid VA Nurse Alex Pretti to Be Model Citizen
By
The Onion Staff
Lightly browned and well buttered. A solid pick from the rack.
Summary
President Donald Trump alleges that Democrats secretly paid Alex Pretti, a Veterans Affairs nurse killed by Border Patrol agents, to be a model citizen. Trump claims that no one would realistically devote their life to serving others without being funded by nefarious actors, specifically naming George Soros and far-left billionaires as the financiers behind Pretti's community service.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledClaiming that no one would realistically devote their life to serving others without being funded by nefarious actors, President Donald Trump alleged Monday that Democrats had secretly paid Alex Pretti, the 37-year-old Veterans Affairs nurse killed by U.S. Border Patrol agents in Minneapolis, to be a model citizen.
What they don't want you to know is that George Soros and his far-left billionaire friends hired Alex Pretti to act as a dependable, beloved pillar of his community for decades
There was no way a man could be so universally respected and dedicated to helping veterans without being on someone's payroll
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