Study Shows Single Millennials Preferring Parrots with Emergency Skills Over Partners
By
The Onion Staff
Pale, doughy, and a touch sad. Eat if peckish.
Summary
A Hunter College study reveals that more single millennials are opting for parrots that can dial 911 instead of serious romantic partners.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledAn increasing number of millennials are forgoing a serious romantic partner in favor of a cockatiel or macaw who can reliably peck out a number for emergency services.
We're finding that an increasing number of millennials are forgoing a serious romantic partner in favor of a cockatiel or macaw who can reliably peck out a number for emergency services.
More single millennials were settling for a parrot who could dial 911.
You might also wanna read
University Study Claims DNA Sequencing Shows Hitler Was an Ostrich Fern
Researchers from the University of Bath claim to have discovered through DNA sequencing that Adolf Hitler was actually a type of fern, speci
The Onion·6mo agoMount Etna Eruption in Italy
Mount Etna, the volcano on the Italian island of Sicily, erupted, spewing hot ash miles into the air and releasing lava in a pyroclastic flo
The Onion·1y ago
Türkiye'de Mavi Ay ve Mikro Ay aynı anda gözlemlendi: Bir sonraki 2053'te
Mayıs ayının son gecesinde Türkiye semalarında nadir görülen bir "Mavi Ay" (ikinci dolunay) olayı yaşandı. Ay, aynı zamanda Dünya'ya en uzak
gazeteoksijen.com·2h ago
NASA to announce Artemis 3 crew on June 9, mission scope shifts to orbital docking tests
NASA has announced it will reveal the four-person Artemis 3 crew on June 9 at the Johnson Space Center in Houston. The event will also provi
space.com·4h ago
1-Meter Meteor Breaks Up Off Massachusetts Coast, Debris May Have Fallen Into Cape Cod Bay
A 1-meter meteor entered Earth's atmosphere off the coast of Massachusetts, releasing energy equivalent to 300 tons of TNT. Radar data sugge
hackaday.com·9h ago
Study suggests homing pigeons may navigate using iron-laden liver immune cells as a magnetic compass
Researchers at the Max Planck Institute of Animal Behavior tested whether homing pigeons use iron-laden immune cells in their livers as a ma
sciencenews.org·11h ago