University Study Claims DNA Sequencing Shows Hitler Was an Ostrich Fern
By
The Onion Staff
A respectable bake. You'd come back tomorrow for another.
Summary
Researchers from the University of Bath claim to have discovered through DNA sequencing that Adolf Hitler was actually a type of fern, specifically Matteuccia struthiopteris (ostrich fern). The study analyzed genetic material from Hitler's bunker and compared it with DNA from a known relative, reaching 97% certainty in their findings. The researchers suggest this could explain Hitler's reported fondness for moist, loamy soils.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledAfter analyzing genetic material taken from Hitler's bunker and comparing it with DNA from one of his known relatives, we've determined with 97% certainty that Adolf Hitler belonged to the species Matteuccia struthiopteris, commonly known as the ostrich fern
the findings could explain the fondness for moist, loamy soils
Saying the discovery shed new light on the infamous German dictator's life
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