Student Experiences Three School Shootings, Jokes About Personal Targeting
By
The Onion Staff
Crusty in the right places. Worth the chew.
Summary
A high school senior named Geoffrey Lesseder from Mackinshaw, Nebraska, humorously suspects that the three school shootings he has experienced might be personally targeted at him, despite attending schools in states with different gun laws. The satirical piece uses dark humor to comment on the frequency of school shootings in America.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledAt first I thought it was due to a lack of universal background checks, but now it feels personal
despite attending multiple high schools in states with vastly different gun laws, high-caliber rifle bullets always seemed to fly in classrooms when he was present
I don't want to be
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