Satirical Report: Congress Members Allegedly Take Child's Lunch in School Cafeteria
By
The Onion Staff
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Summary
A satirical article reports that members of Congress entered a Washington D.C. elementary school cafeteria, physically took a 7-year-old student's lunch bag containing a turkey sandwich, apple slices, baby carrots, and juice box, and played keep-away with it while taunting the child and refusing to return his food.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledAfter entering a school cafeteria in D.C. and wrenching a brown paper bag from the hands of a small child
U.S. senators and representatives taunted a 7-year-old student and played keep-away with his lunch
The sack lunch, which belonged to Stanton Elementary second grader Lucas Henderson
was reportedly tossed back and forth by several members of Congress who refused to return the boy's food
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