12-Year-Old Accepted Into Unaccredited For-Profit College With 99% Acceptance Rate
By
The Onion Staff
Plain bagel done well. Pleasantly substantive.
Summary
A 12-year-old boy named Connor has been accepted into Duane McAskill University, described as 'the worst college imaginable' - an unaccredited for-profit school with a 99% acceptance rate. His mother Hannah Butler celebrates the achievement, noting her son skipped several grades and worked hard to reach this point, though the article presents this as a satirical achievement given the school's poor reputation.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledAfter years of hard work and skipping several grades, we are so proud that our son will be attending Duane McAskill University [an unaccredited school with a 99% acceptance rate] in the fall
Emphasizing that her son's young age had never stopped him from pursuing his dreams, local mother Hannah Butler celebrated Monday when her 12-year-old was accepted into the worst college imaginable
her son Connor cried when he opened the envelope informing him that he'd been admitted to the recently founded for-profit college in central Indiana
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