Satire: Onion Article Depicts Shams Charania Eagerly Awaiting Chance to Report Michael Jordan's Death
By
The Onion Staff
Not artisan, but a perfectly fine bagel. Hits the spot.
Summary
A satirical article from The Onion depicting ESPN insider Shams Charania eagerly anticipating breaking the news of Michael Jordan's eventual death, treating it as a major career scoop. The piece humorously portrays Charania telling colleagues he's been cultivating sources in hospitals and hospices in preparation for the event, with coworkers reacting in silence.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledWhen MJ dies, I'll be right there with a 'breaking news' post on all the socials—it'll probably start trending immediately
Anticipating the announcement would rank among the biggest scoops of his career
Charania told his reportedly silent coworkers in the ESPN break room
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