Satirical piece: MLB purportedly recalls all foul balls taken by fans
By
The Onion Staff
The kind of bagel that ruins lesser bagels for you.
Summary
A satirical article reporting that Major League Baseball has issued a recall of all foul balls ever taken home by fans, claiming they are MLB property. Commissioner Rob Manfred demands their return, with the piece humorously exploring the absurdity of retroactively reclaiming souvenirs from generations of spectators.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledThese balls belong to Major League Baseball, and we want them back.
Any fan who has ever caught a foul ball and failed to return it is in violation of MLB property rights.
We're not asking—we're telling. Every ball, from every game, going back to 1876.
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