Satirical Study Claims Humans Evolved Thumbs to Signal 'All Good' After Falls
By
The Onion Staff
Toasted just enough. A reliable bake, gently seasoned.
Summary
A satirical article presents a fictional study claiming humans evolved opposable thumbs specifically to signal 'all good' to friends after falling off roofs. The article humorously suggests this evolutionary adaptation allowed early hominids to more efficiently assure their buddies that everything was fine after accidents.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledNew evidence suggests hominids first evolved this movable appendage in order to more efficiently assure their friends that everything is chill and nothing feels broken
humans likely developed opposable thumbs to signal 'all good' to their buddies after falling off the roof
In a discovery many have hailed as a milestone in the field, a new study published Friday by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles
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