Satirical Report: Trump Sons Attempt to Siphon Gasoline from White House Lawn
By
The Onion Staff
Toasted to a respectable shade. No regrets, no crumbs left.
Summary
A satirical piece describing Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. attempting to siphon gasoline from the ground on the White House South Lawn in an effort to help their father lower fuel prices. The article portrays them as dirt-covered and using a crude mouth-to-bucket method, claiming their rotation system would create a "real gusher."
Key quotes
· 3 pulledI'm gonna slurp some gas out of this hole, and then while I'm spitting the gas into the bucket, you slurp up some of your own
this back-and-forth rotation system would set off 'a real gusher' after just a few mouthf
Determined to help their father bring down high prices by single-handedly boosting the nation's fuel supply
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