Satirical Report: Trump Allegedly Seen Pantsless on Freeway Asking Directions to Iran
By
The Onion Staff
Lightly browned and well buttered. A solid pick from the rack.
Summary
President Donald Trump is reported to have been seen wandering pantsless on the shoulder of Interstate 495, holding a ceremonial sword and asking passing drivers for directions to Iran. Witnesses described a chaotic scene where the commander-in-chief yelled at commuters about his quest to wage war, claiming to have walked through various lands including Germany and the desert.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledPresident Donald Trump was seen wandering pantsless on the shoulder of the freeway, holding a ceremonial sword straight out in front of him, and asking passing drivers, 'Which way is Iran?'
'Woman! Tell me if Iran is to the left of here or if it's south!' the commander-in-chief yelled at a morning commuter
he'd walked through 'many lands' on his quest to wage war, including Germany, the desert, and 'a country where everybody was weari'
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