Satirical Report: Nicole Kidman Burns Garfield Movie Soundtrack Amid Divorce
By
The Onion Staff
Slightly gummy. The crust never quite set.
Summary
A satirical news piece reporting that actress Nicole Kidman is burning items that remind her of her soon-to-be ex-husband Keith Urban, including the soundtrack from 'The Garfield Movie' which Urban collaborated on with Snoop Dogg. The article portrays Kidman as emotionally distraught over the breakup, unable to enjoy the music that once brought her husband joy.
Key quotes
· 3 pulled"Keith was so happy the day he came home and told me he was collaborating with Snoop on a song about Garfield's relaxed lifestyle"
"now I'll never be able to enjoy that opening keyboard lead again without it feeling like a knife in my gut"
Adding to an already heaping assortment of books, clothing, and photos that reminded her of soon-to-be ex-husband Keith Urban
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