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Satirical Report: Nation's Sycophants Declare Latest Achievement as 'Best One Yet'

By

The Onion Staff

5mo ago· 2 min readen

Summary

A satirical report describes 130 million of the nation's sycophants unanimously praising an unnamed individual's latest achievement as their 'best one yet,' with the sycophants lining up to congratulate 'the genius' behind it.

Key quotes

· 4 pulled
all 130 million of the nation's sycophants expressed their firm belief that this was your best one yet
We just want to say we're really impressed with what you're doing lately, and we'd simply love to congratulate you
the genius who came up with this
you really knocked it out of the park
Snippet from the RSS feed
WASHINGTON—As they nodded their heads in approval and echoed the sentiment that “you really knocked it out of the park,” all 130 million of the nation’s sycophants expressed their firm belief that this was your best one yet, sources confirmed Friday. “We

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