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Satirical Report: Fox News Presents Trump with Quarterly Gift of Three Blond Anchors

By

The Onion Staff

4mo ago· 1 min readen

Summary

Fox News presents President Donald Trump with a quarterly 'tithe' of three blond anchors as a symbolic gift, delivered by CEO Lachlan Murdoch with medieval-style ceremony and jesters, in a satirical portrayal of the network's relationship with the administration.

Key quotes

· 3 pulled
We have traveled south to the White House steps to present you with these three Kayleighs
This stock represents the finest tenth of our quarterly newscaster harvest, and we beseech your fealty in return
Fox News sent President Donald Trump its quarterly tithe of three blond anchors, White House sources confirmed Friday
Snippet from the RSS feed
WASHINGTON—Saying the sumptuous gift should slake the administration’s thirst for the next few months, Fox News sent President Donald Trump its quarterly tithe of three blond anchors, White House sources confirmed Friday. “We have traveled south to the Wh

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