Satirical Report: Fox News Presents Trump with Quarterly Gift of Three Blond Anchors
By
The Onion Staff
A reheated bagel, served cold.
Summary
Fox News presents President Donald Trump with a quarterly 'tithe' of three blond anchors as a symbolic gift, delivered by CEO Lachlan Murdoch with medieval-style ceremony and jesters, in a satirical portrayal of the network's relationship with the administration.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledWe have traveled south to the White House steps to present you with these three Kayleighs
This stock represents the finest tenth of our quarterly newscaster harvest, and we beseech your fealty in return
Fox News sent President Donald Trump its quarterly tithe of three blond anchors, White House sources confirmed Friday
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