Satirical Profile: Markwayne Mullin's Fictional Biography as Homeland Security Nominee

Summary

The article is a satirical political profile from The Onion about Senator Markwayne Mullin, who has been nominated as Secretary of Homeland Security. It presents humorous, fictional biographical details including his 'ethnicity' as 'Brother-in-Law,' being raised by 'Momwayne, Dadwayne,' being known for being forcibly dragged off a flight, hating Rand Paul as a 'humanizing quality,' and dreaming of being special envoy for the Shield of the Americas. The satire contrasts him with Kristi Noem by suggesting he would have killed a dog with bare hands.