Satirical Piece: Trump Sons Dramatically Cut Hair to Avoid Military Draft
By
The Onion Staff
All dough, no crust. Filling but forgettable.
Summary
The article satirically describes Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump dramatically cutting off their hair with a butter knife to avoid a potential U.S. military draft, portraying them as whimpering and wincing during the exaggerated, painful process.
Key quotes
· 4 pulled'Do it!' shouted Donald Trump Jr. as he and Eric Trump prepared to cut off their hair to avoid a U.S. military draft.
'Come on, Eric, do it quick, before I change my mind,' said Donald Jr., who squeezed his eyes shut and placed a Twizzler between his teeth.
'Don't let me see the blood, Eric. Just hurry up, and then I'll do you. Oh God, we're goin'
Whimpering at the butter knife clutched in his brother's hand, a wincing Donald Trump Jr. reportedly shouted 'Do it!' Wednesday.
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