Satirical NFL Referee Declares Pass Interference Penalty as "10,000 Years of Winter"
By
The Onion Staff
Toasted just enough. A reliable bake, gently seasoned.
Summary
A satirical sports article describes a referee at a Steelers-Dolphins NFL game who, after a defensive pass interference penalty, dramatically declares the punishment to be "10,000 years of winter" while his eyes turn white and he cackles menacingly. The referee addresses the players as "mortals" and proclaims a "terrible judgment" that will afflict the earth for ages as punishment for the football infraction.
Key quotes
· 3 pulledHear me, mortals, and know that for the grave transgression of hindering the receiver in violation of the laws of football, the defender who wears number five has incurred a terrible judgment that shall afflict the earth for many ages!
the referee of the Steelers–Dolphins game was heard to let out a blood-curdling cackle Monday before declaring the penalty for defensive pass interference would be 'no fewer than 10,000 years of winter'
Raising his hands before him as his eyes turned ominously white
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