Miami Marlins Use Royalty-Free Walk-Up Songs for Players
By
The Onion Staff
Crisp on the outside, thoughtful on the inside. A keeper.
Summary
The article appears to be a satirical piece from The Onion about the Miami Marlins baseball team using royalty-free walk-up songs for their players. The content includes typical Onion-style humor with weather-related clipart mentions and promotional membership calls. The article likely satirizes sports team budget constraints and the use of generic, royalty-free music instead of popular licensed tracks for player introductions.
Key quotes
· 4 pulledBecome A Member. Get The Paper.
Friday, April 17, 2026
Strong chance of weather-related clipart
America's Finest News Source
The post All Marlins Walk-Up Songs Royalty-Free appeared first on The Onion.
You might also wanna read
Satirical Headline Collection: Absurd Fake News Items Including Shai Gilgeous-Alexander Free Throw Foul Attempt
This article is a satirical/humorous collection of absurd and ironic fake news headlines, including a basketball player trying to draw a fou
The Onion·10d ago
Satirical Article Depicts Alex Honnold Panicking Atop a Step Ladder
A satirical article about famous rock climber Alex Honnold (known for free solo climbing) having a panic attack at the top of a step ladder,
The Onion·11d ago
Satirical Article: Carlos Alcaraz Withdraws from French Open Over Haircut (The Onion)
A satirical article claiming Carlos Alcaraz withdrew from the French Open due to a "career-threatening haircut," humorously framing a bad ha
The Onion·1mo ago
Flyers Fans Confused Whether Mascot Gritty Eating Live Bird Is Part Of The Act
A satirical news article from The Onion about Philadelphia Flyers fans being confused whether their mascot Gritty eating a live bird is a pl
The Onion·1mo ago
NFL Announces Plans to Host Games in Historical Eras Starting Next Season
The NFL announced plans to stage regular-season games across various historical eras, including ancient Egypt and the Italian Renaissance, a
The Onion·1mo ago
Satirical Article: Rory McIlroy Faces Mobile Banking Challenges with Large Tournament Check
The article appears to be a satirical piece from The Onion about professional golfer Rory McIlroy struggling to deposit a large tournament c
The Onion·1mo ago