Satirical Lent Observance Tips from The Onion
By
The Onion Staff
Hard crust, hollow middle. Skim only.
Summary
The Onion publishes a satirical article offering humorous 'tips' for observing the Catholic Lenten season, including suggestions like starting with shorter religious observances, using Google Maps to find deserts, and joking about cheating on Wednesdays when God is supposedly busy.
Key quotes
· 5 pulledTry starting with something shorter like Yom Kippur and working your way up.
Check Google Maps for the nearest wanderable desert.
Remind your children that they're fasting because of the Lord and not because you can't afford groceries.
Don't be too hard on yourself if you slip up and worship Baal once or twice.
God's usually pretty busy on Wednesdays, so you can cheat all you want and He
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